A new title always comes with applause.

But the applause fades quickly, and what’s left is a stretch.

It’s the stretch between who you’ve been and who you need to become.
The stretch between the excitement others see in you and the insecurity you feel inside.

Every year, about a quarter of leaders step into new roles. A third of them are hired from the outside. That means thousands of leaders are waking up on Monday mornings expected to deliver clarity while they’re still learning where the levers of the culture even are. Some thrive. Many stumble.

And here’s the truth you probably already know: the first 90 days aren’t a grace period. They’re the crucible.

The Paradox of the New Seat

I’ve sat with leaders who confided that they felt like impostors the moment they stopped doing the work and started leading the work. Some were now managing former peers. Others were stepping into a turnaround when they thought they’d signed up for a smooth scale-up.

The paradox is brutal: the moment of highest expectations is also the moment you know the least. That tension either forces leaders into pretending — “performing” leadership — or it becomes the invitation to lead authentically.

And authenticity isn’t about telling people every doubt running through your mind. It’s about leading from a place where your actions match your values. Where the team sees clarity in your posture, even if you’re still learning the details.

What the First 90 Days Really Ask of You

Michael Watkins’ The First 90 Days gives us a clear reminder: early wins and quick learning matter, but not all wins are equal. They need to be anchored in credibility, connection, and alignment.

From my own coaching and lived experience, here’s how I’ve seen leaders stretch into their new seat without breaking:

• Start with Self-Awareness.
  Block time each week to reflect on your leadership. What came from strength? What came from fear? The leaders who last are the ones who don’t just chase credibility externally, they cultivate it internally.
• Lead with Curiosity.
  Spend your first month listening like your survival depends on it — because it does. Ask the questions that reveal how decisions really get made, not just how the org chart says they do. Map the hidden influencers, not just the obvious ones.
• Build Credibility Through Connection.
  Say out loud what you don’t know yet. Especially if you’re leading former peers. You’ll be surprised how fast trust grows when your team realizes you see them as partners, not an audience you have to impress.
• Reframe Progress vs. Performance.
  Too many leaders walk into the new seat thinking, “I need to prove I belong here.” That mindset burns them out. The leaders who thrive shift it to: “I need to show we’re progressing together.” The team doesn’t need your perfection — they need your process.
• Practice Emotional Intelligence.
  People don’t just hear your words — they feel your state. Your ability to pause, regulate, and respond with empathy sets the emotional thermostat for the team. Lead with clarity of intent, and your authenticity will show without you having to advertise it.
• Build Your Support System.
  New seats can be lonely. The strongest leaders I know had at least two people outside the room to lean on — a mentor for wisdom, a peer or coach for candor. Don’t carry the transition in isolation.

These aren’t abstract best practices. They are survival skills. Leaders who skip them often spend the rest of their tenure trying to recover lost trust.

A Wink to Founders

And if you’re the one promoting people into these roles — remember, you’re not just scaling a company, you’re scaling leaders. Titles don’t create capability. Runways do.

Give your people the space, coaching, and permission to learn out loud in those first 90 days. That’s not coddling — that’s protecting momentum.

The Dare

So here’s your challenge for this week:

If you’ve just stepped into a new role, write down which situation you’re really in — startup, turnaround, realignment, or sustain. Share that draft diagnosis with your boss and your team. See if they nod or push back.

If you’re placing someone into a new seat, don’t just hand them the title. Hand them your attention. Ask them, “What would make your first 90 days a foundation, not a fog?”

Because the stretch will always be there. The question is whether you pretend your way through it — or adapt authentically and grow into the leader this moment is calling you to be.

Love be with you 💗
Lead on with purpose, grace, and limitless potential. 🚀