Last week, a leader shares this story with me.

A meeting starts strong. Energy is high. People lean in.

Then they speak.

Suddenly, the air shifts. Shoulders tense. Eyes glaze. The momentum dies.

Afterward, a leader corners you and says what they’ve been holding in for weeks:

“There’s one person who’s draining everyone’s energy… what do I do?”

This story happened to me as well when leading a team of people. You will have to face it one day or another.

This isn’t just a personnel issue. It’s a systemic leadership signal.

And the best leaders don’t just react. They decode.

Beneath the Question Lies a Deeper Concern

When leaders raise this, they’re not just venting. They’re trying to protect the invisible fuel of a thriving team: energy.

Here’s what research reveals they’re really trying to safeguard:

1. Team Morale and Psychological Safety

Energy-drainers—whether they’re passive-aggressive, chronically negative, or resistant to feedback—chip away at trust and emotional safety. Left unchecked, even high performers begin to disengage out of self-preservation .

71% of employees report that a single toxic teammate significantly increases their stress and job dissatisfaction .

2. Productivity and Collaboration

Toxic behaviors don’t just harm feelings—they block flow. When one person constantly derails meetings or undermines others, idea-sharing stalls, problem-solving weakens, and innovation suffers .

Teams with energy-draining members experience a measurable dip in output and collective performance .

3. Talent Retention and Culture Health

High performers don’t stay in low-vibe cultures. One unchecked energy vampire can silently push your best people out the door, increasing turnover and burning resources on rehiring and retraining .

Studies show that even witnessing toxic behavior causes disengagement and intent to leave among otherwise committed employees .

4. Reputation and Leadership Credibility

When a leader tolerates negative behavior, it signals that culture is optional. Clients, partners, and new hires notice. And trust erodes—from both inside and out .

5. Leader Capacity and Energy Allocation

One draining employee can quietly consume a disproportionate share of a leader’s energy. That time is stolen from strategy, team development, and meaningful progress .

As Insight Experience notes, leaders often lose their greatest energy trying to “fix” individuals who don’t want to grow .

What Great Leaders Do Instead

Dealing with an energy-draining team member isn’t about power or punishment. It’s about protection—of the team, the mission, and your own leadership integrity.

Here’s what the evidence and experience suggest:

• Address Root Causes with Curiosity

Many behaviors stem from unmet needs, misaligned roles, or systemic breakdowns. Start by listening deeply—not to excuse, but to understand .

• Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Ambiguity fuels dysfunction. Be specific about what needs to change, how you’ll measure it, and what the next steps are. Boundaries protect the team—and give the person a real chance to step up .

• Reinforce Cultural Norms

Culture is your immune system. Reconnect the team to shared values. Make it clear what behavior is expected—and what’s non-negotiable .

• Shift Your Energy Budget

Ask yourself: Am I investing more in managing dysfunction than in cultivating growth? Sometimes the bravest move is to stop rescuing and start reallocating attention to where it uplifts the system .

This Week’s Challenge

🎯 Pinpoint one relationship, behavior, or pattern that’s been quietly draining your leadership energy.

Ask:
What conversation am I avoiding, and what would open up if I had it?

Then take one step—today. With clarity. With courage. With care.

Because great leadership isn’t just about carrying the weight.

It’s about protecting the energy that moves the whole mission forward.

Love be with you 💗
Lead on with purpose, grace, and limitless potential. 🚀

References

[1] CultureMonkey – Signs of toxic employees: https://www.culturemonkey.io/employee-engagement/toxic-employees/
[2] LinkedIn – The Impact of a Toxic Employee: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/impact-toxic-employee-rj-starr-1mqxe
[3] HR Gazette – When Your Team’s Energy Is Low: https://hr-gazette.com/when-your-teams-energy-is-low-it-hurts-productivity-and-innovation/
[4] inFeedo – From Conflict to Cohesion: https://www.infeedo.ai/employee-behaviour/from-conflict-to-cohesion-managing-toxic-employee-behavior-and-amplifying-engagement
[5] Insight Experience – Burnout at the Root: https://www.insight-experience.com/blog/how-leaders-can-address-burnout-at-its-root-cause
[6] Aleksandra Lemańska – Where Leaders Lose Energy: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/where-leaders-lose-most-energy-how-get-back-aleksandra-lema%C5%84ska-xfzmf
[7] Harvard PON – Listening to Learn: https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/dealing-with-difficult-people-daily/managing-difficult-employees-listening-learn/
[8] Marquette MBA – The Thriving Workplace: https://online.marquette.edu/mba/blog/the-thriving-workplace-how-to-deal-with-difficult-employees
[9] Leadership Association – What to Do When a Team Member Is an Energy Vampire: https://theleadershipassociation.com/what-to-do-when-a-team-member-is-an-energy-vampire/
[10] Forbes – 6 Signs of 'Energy Vampires': https://www.forbes.com/sites/bryanrobinson/2023/11/01/6-signs-of-energy-vampires-in-the-workplace-and-how-to-manage-them/
[11] BetterUp – Dealing with Difficult Employees: https://www.betterup.com/blog/dealing-with-difficult-employees
[14] Forbes Coaches Council – Speed of Business and Energy Drain: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2023/03/21/stop-using-the-speed-of-business-to-justify-energy-draining-leadership-choices/